Mental Health

Reflections on Mental Health Day

A little late to the party, but today is World Mental Health Day. Let’s be honest, every day is world mental health day, but for the sake of its official date, here is a personal account sharing my experiences and feelings to contribute to spreading awareness and advocacy against the negative social stigma.

Last week was the first week of October. To most people, it’s the start of Fall, the start of the countdown to Halloween, the start of the countdown to the holidays with the new year to follow. To me… it’s the mark of anniversaries and the memory of when one chapter of my life ended and a new one began.

(Beware of a hella long post!) Continue reading “Reflections on Mental Health Day”

health, Mental Health

Challenge: 30-Day Workout and Diet Reset

Five weeks. It has been five weeks since falling off my healthy wagon. Ever since I had the flu, and been knee deep in projects (which is a good thing), I have not gotten my butt back in the gym, and on top of that, I have been eating HORRIBLY. Bread, fast food and sugar galore! Everyone knows my undying love for Wendy’s, but good lawd, they gave me so many coupons that I went almost every week religiously, sometimes TWICE in a week. Then I gave up chocolate for lent, but I ended up making 50 sugar cookies and an entire tray of lemon bar squares, which got devoured within a couple days. Horrible.

Well… tomorrow is the start of March—holy my lanta, how did we get here so fast?!—and I am determined to climb back onboard the healthy wagon with a 30-DAY RESET CHALLENGE. Yes, I realize I’m thin and don’t need to “lose weight,” but as I’ve said many time again, this is not about losing weight. Workout and healthier eating habits help maintain discipline and create a better, healthier body for myself. Plus, no one wants to feel sluggish from the food they eat and/or beat themselves up from feeling eater’s remorse.

What regimens am I incorporating this time around? I’m not going too far fetched.

Continue reading “Challenge: 30-Day Workout and Diet Reset”

Mental Health

Accomplishments

My first book being published is right around the corner. My. First. Book. Published. Something that I created with my own two hands is going to be officially bound together and put out there for the world to see. Never in my life did I ever imagine publishing anything this way, let alone my poetry writing.

But you wanna know what’s sad?

As I held the first proof copy of my book, the first thought was, “Wow! I’m actually holding this in my hand right now!” And the instant next thought was,

“Man. This isn’t enough.”

Why that second thought popped into my head is beyond me. I know, I want, I need to feel happy, excited, jovial, to the moon, about this, but an itty bitty voice in my head pokes me and says,

“You’re still not good enough, Siri.”

Continue reading “Accomplishments”

Mental Health

2018, a New Year

Happy New Year, y’all! 2018 is finally here.

A week has passed since the beginning of a new year, but it didn’t truly feel new until today, this week. From January 1st – January 7th, it was almost like a reset and recharge week for me—I have been sick since before Christmas and I was finally starting to feel 110% better after New Year’s Day. At that, I snuck in all my vices—fast food, alcohol, carbs, you name it—before I officially went back to my strict diet and workout regimens.

As it is, I try to set daily/weekly/monthly goals for myself throughout the year, but that doesn’t exclude making the usual new year resolutions. Every day we change even if it’s the tiniest, most subtle thing. We are always progressing.

Continue reading “2018, a New Year”

Mental Health

Reflecting on the last year…

A year ago I was on a trip with my best friend in Big Bear, CA, the most lovely and beautiful place ever, and I had my first panic attack. Something triggered me during dinner, and for the next hour and a half to two hours, I could not slow down my heart rate despite exercising calming techniques. In the past I would have brushed it off and refuse to see a doctor, but this was one of the few times I listened to my body telling me something. I was actually scared.

Reflecting on this past year, it has been pretty rough, especially after talking with doctors and my therapist, learning about my severe anxiety and panic disorder, and ultimately trying to learn to live with it. I was prescribed with a daily medication for the first part of this year, and it helped. However, it’s a double-edged sword for me because I’m glad that I found something that mellowed me out—and there are days where I wish I still had them—but at the same time, I don’t want to be dependent on them. This debate in my mind toward the medication flip flops daily.

Continue reading “Reflecting on the last year…”