Hiatus from Twitch Again

For those of you who care enough to read this personal post, I appreciate your time. It’s only been about two months since I returned to Twitch, and I had high hopes for it to be a great thing, but unfortunately it hasn’t. And with that said, err written, I’m hanging up my streaming hat (again). History has repeated itself where I’m constantly working around the clock from sunrise to dawn, and in result, am not getting ample sleep, which has led to exhaustion. For the past few weeks, I have been doing a lot of crying behind the scenes and putting on a facade on screen that I’m great. In that time, I’ve been thinking heavily on figuring out the best plan of action to move forward, and here we are.


This anxious, sad feeling has been eating at me since I decided to start streaming again, and I can’t hide it anymore. Where do I start? Two months seems like a short amount of time and doesn’t seem like a big deal, but there are larger, deep-rooted feelings at play here that made this decision both difficult and easy at the same time.

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My Thoughts During Mental Health Awareness Month

Mental Health Awareness Month is nearly over, and I’ve had productive time to ponder life, especially during the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic. Living in isolation in my apartment and social distancing from people have presented an opportunity for my true introvertedness to revive itself, and admittedly I’m glad it did. By indulging in my introverted tendencies, I’ve become more myself again versus wearing the mask and putting on an act in front of people – this is not me saying I’m fake, but it’s definitely a light switch when I have to interact and be extroverted. In reality, I get anxious and nervous at the thought of being around people.

Mask - Persona 5 - Mental Health Awareness Month

Some of my goals in life is to enforce the importance of mental health and taking care of one’s health, as well as fighting the negative stigma associated with mental health. In the past, “taking a mental health day” was another ordinary slang phrase to me that I used loosely, but since my young adult life, it’s evolved into a bigger, more meaningful statement. My mental health is my number one priority, and I’m glad I was able to use this time alone to properly focus on it, like I have been promising myself for the past few years but never made ends meet.

What have I been doing to dedicate to myself? Here are a few things:

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How to Stay Sane During COVID-19

How is everyone doing? It’s been a long time, and some crazy things have been happening in the world today. Y’all know what I’m talking about – COVID-19, aka the coronavirus pandemic.

By now almost the entire world is isolated in quarantine – err, supposed to be – to help stop the spread of the virus and further infect more people. What does this mean? The people should be staying home, not going out and being away from people. No loud roaring engines of cars racing on highways, and no people filling the streets in ruckus. It’s almost as if the earth is slowly but surely starting to stand still in peace and quiet.

042620 - Phoebe Plan Gif

So, how many of you are coping well with being in isolation? Is it easy? Hard? Going crazy yet? I’ve talked to and seen posts on the Internet and social media of people struggling to be still and confined to their homes. Must be you, extroverts, who need to go out and do something and be around people. That’s not me saying that as a stab to the way y’all live your life, but the struggle can be real.

For me, this is my normal – well, maybe not normal, but my dream? People who know me call me a busy body, always out and about going to events, meeting people, hanging out with people, but honestly I fake it all. It’s an obligation to go out and be social, when in reality, it’s my preference to stay home alone and do whatever the hell I want.

Silence and Indiffernce - Gundham Tanaka

My point: this isolation phase is cake to me.

Why am I making a big deal about it? Because I want to share my personal tips on how to maintain your sanity and not crack under the pressure of quarantine.

Here are five things you can do to occupy your time and put your mind at ease while COVID-19 passes:

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We’re at the Half – How are Things Going?

The year is halfway through… how in the world did we get here? Didn’t it just turn 2019? By this time, most people who made those New Year’s resolutions have given up and reverted back to their former ways. How are y’all doing with yours?

So much happened in the last six months I don’t know where to start… instead of writing a novel you guys probably don’t want to read, I’ll do a quick highlight reel and a snippet of what’s been on my mind lately.

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Reflections on Mental Health Day

A little late to the party, but today is World Mental Health Day. Let’s be honest, every day is world mental health day, but for the sake of its official date, here is a personal account sharing my experiences and feelings to contribute to spreading awareness and advocacy against the negative social stigma.

Last week was the first week of October. To most people, it’s the start of Fall, the start of the countdown to Halloween, the start of the countdown to the holidays with the new year to follow. To me… it’s the mark of anniversaries and the memory of when one chapter of my life ended and a new one began.

(Beware of a hella long post!) Continue reading “Reflections on Mental Health Day”