Mental Health

2018, a New Year

Happy New Year, y’all! 2018 is finally here.

A week has passed since the beginning of a new year, but it didn’t truly feel new until today, this week. From January 1st – January 7th, it was almost like a reset and recharge week for me—I have been sick since before Christmas and I was finally starting to feel 110% better after New Year’s Day. At that, I snuck in all my vices—fast food, alcohol, carbs, you name it—before I officially went back to my strict diet and workout regimens.

As it is, I try to set daily/weekly/monthly goals for myself throughout the year, but that doesn’t exclude making the usual new year resolutions. Every day we change even if it’s the tiniest, most subtle thing. We are always progressing.

Although I’ve got a list with resolutions I want to keep, the main mantra for me this year is “Solo Siri.” It took almost a year and a half, but I’m finally crawling out of my depression and embarking on my true journey into the next chapter. For that year and a half, I kept telling myself and others that I was “finding myself” or “focusing on myself” yadi-ya, but truthfully I was still trying to find myself in others, others’ approval, depending on others for happiness. If anything it would have been more suitable to say that I was focusing on coming out of my rut and finding a happy medium to truly move on.

That starts with 2018. In the past, I’ve found myself and learned to be happy again every four years—aka 2010 and 2014—so as a good omen, 2018 is my year. For the first time, I’m re-learning how to live more selfishly (and don’t read that with the negative connotation) and honestly focus on me. Don’t get me wrong—I will always love people and care about them, but I’ve been talking for so long about catering to myself, not worrying about everyone else and not putting them first before me. I want to keep to my own word to treat myself and love myself more than anyone else. My happiness will not come from others; it will come from within me.

blog_01.08.18_five-minute journal

Another form of self-rediscovery and positive vibes lies in the Five-Minute Journal that was given to me by one of my best friends. It was a Christmas gift that I started using the day after Christmas, and it’s been absolutely, wonderfully helpful. The basic concept is that you spend five minutes in the morning when you wake up to write down what you’re grateful for, what things you want to accomplish that day and a daily affirmation about yourself, and then you spend five minutes at night before bed writing about what amazing things happened that day and what could have been better. It’s such a small, simple task, but it helps out immensely. I find that my days are a lot better, more positive, more energetic, and I appreciate the beauty in the littlest things. Writing in this journal has set the best moods to start the day and it’s carried over without fail.

Today also marks the reset of my healthier diet and workout regimens. You’re probably thinking, “You are so skinny. Why are you dieting and working out?” and I get this a lot, but working out and eating healthy is a way for me to take care of my body. I could tell from the weeks I stopped going to the gym and eating a lot of bad food and carbs that my energy was sluggish, acne started acting up and I didn’t feel good about myself.

What I eat and what I do with my body exercise-wise is all reliant on me and my self-discipline, and it feels great to get a workout (and hatha yoga) done in the morning, releasing those endorphins that make me feel happy and accomplished. And I don’t do crazy, heavy workouts, either. I know that I am thin, but I simply want to be fit and like my body with more tone.

The year is already starting off great with the release of my first-ever published book this month! It’s a collection of poetry and prose, titled Saudade, and the content focuses on anxiety and depression. It’s a journey through those stages until you ultimately come out the other side of the dark with a new, positive outlook on life. (That shameless self-promotion, though.)

Anyway, this blog post is turning into another essay, but I’m looking forward to a new year. As cliche as it is, a new year marks a fresh start, a chance to make anew and an opportunity to grow and do better. With that said, here are my resolutions:

• Solo Siri
• back to the diet/workout grind
• low-carb diet
• no alcohol
• continue the Five-Minute Journal
• land a steady income job
• move out to my own apartment
• expand my Twitch channel
• work on self-publishing two future works

What are some of your resolutions? What do you hope to accomplish?


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